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A-YIKES!

Denied a nail-biting denouement by the Best League In The World™, where the champions and relegated sides were all but mathematically confirmed about 15 matches ago, more than a few Premier League observers have spent the past couple of weeks glancing towards the Netherlands while exhibiting hitherto unprecedented symptoms of a malaise Football Daily is diagnosing as Eredivisie Envy. For so long the neglected cousin of Europe’s Big Five, the Dutch top flight is largely left to its own devices while its English, Spanish, German, Italian and French relatives chew the fat at European football’s Big Boy table, only diverting their attention towards the low countries when it comes to hoovering up emerging talent. On Wednesday, however, the pancake-flat land of tulips, wooden footwear and uncomfortably forthright conversation stole continental headlines as European heavyweights Ajax completed their latest pratfall en route to what could be one of the most apocalyptic chokes in football history.

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A month ago, it all looked done and dusted. With five matches remaining, Ajax had an apparently insurmountable nine-point lead over champions PSV Eindhoven and looked a shoo-in to reclaim the title they consider their birthright with two or three games to spare. It was at this inopportune moment that Francisco Farioli’s side started stepping Sideshow Bob-style on rakes, taking just one point from the next nine available, while PSV won three in a row to reduce the gap to just one point. On Wednesday night PSV made it four wins on the bounce, the final whistle of their 4-1 home win over Heracles being blown as Ajax attempted to close out a 2-1 win against 10-man FC Groningen.

While that game concluded, PSV fans, players, coaches, groundstaff and even club mascot Phoxy the fox remained on the pitch and in the stands at the Philips Stadion, peering at buffering phones and tablets before the glorious realisation slowly dawned on them that no, this wasn’t some elaborate hoax but Groningen had in fact scored a miraculous equaliser in the ninth minute of added time. Cue Ajax desolation at Groningen and scenes of unbridled pandemonium in Eindhoven as PSV went one point clear at the top with a game left to play. The destination of a title that once looked lost is now firmly in their own hands.

“If you’re nine points behind with five games to go, the hope is so small,” cooed PSV captain Luuk de Jong. “And now, to be one point ahead with one match left – that’s something you wouldn’t even dare to dream. It’s incredible.” Of course to avoid a significant bottling of their own, PSV cannot relinquish the lifeline thrown their way by Ajax and must beat mid-table Sparta Rotterdam away on Sunday to retain their title. Ajax, meanwhile, have to beat sixth-placed Twente in Amsterdam and pray PSV slip up. Premier League old boys Jordan Henderson and Wout Weghorst were both ashen faced but disappointingly tightlipped following Ajax’s shocker, but their teammate Davy Klaassen did deign to speak with reporters after the game. “I’m only here because I have to [talk to you],” declared the former Everton midfielder, showcasing that famous Dutch reputation for pleasantry-free straight-talking for all to see.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

How do you go from being a kid watching Everton from the Boys’ Pen to having a statue on Goodison Road? If someone had presented me back then with a history of my life, I’d have said: ‘Don’t be silly, nothing like that is ever going to happen to me.’ But it did. When I was told the statue was going to be made it was one of my proudest moments. I’ve had a fantastic football life and it amazes me when I look back on it” – Colin Harvey gets his chat on with Andy Hunter in an interview so heartwarming even your Daily was glowing inside.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

As a north-east native and fan of both Middlesbrough and Everton (can’t call me a glory supporter), I’d just like to wish my sincere best to Sunderland for the final. Seeing them back in the Premier League would be perfect. One less rival for Middlesbrough, and one relegation spot blocked off for Everton. Up the Black Cats!” – Andrew Tate (not that one).

The Newcastle United 1990-91 home shirt was either the original barcode (Football Daily letters passim) or based on the predator-confusing markings of a zebra” – John Lawton.

One of 1,057 Putney-based pedants writing in to quibble with the playoff stats (Wednesday’s Football Daily) here. Swift relegation followed Fulham’s playoff victories in 2018 and 2020, with our more durable Premier League status instead coming after Marco Silva led us to a first-place finish in 2021-22. While this makes the odds for playoff winners a tad worse than you suggested, it’s not all bad. My memories of Wembley were well worth spending the next year feeling like I’d been to 38 games and somehow seen us lose all of them 3-0 away to Palace. All the best, keep up the work, you do brighten up my teatime” – Rohlan Dyre.

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Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winners are … Andrew Tate (not that one) and Rohlan Dyre, who both win some Football Weekly merch. We’ll be in touch. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.

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Join Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning and the rest of the Football Weekly pod squad as they discuss Sunderland, the FA Cup final and more.

ON THE EDGE

Leyton Orient are one game from returning to the second tier for the first time since 1982 after holding their nerve in a penalty shootout against Stockport at Edgeley Park. Goalkeeper Josh Keeley – scorer of an injury-time equaliser against Oldham in the FA Cup – was again the hero, saving from Jack Diamond in the shootout. Remarkably it’s Orient’s third shootout win of the season. Even more remarkably, they were in the relegation zone at the start of December. And one more thing worth mentioning amid the teary eyed farewells to Goodison: Wednesday night’s game marked the end for a much loved piece of football trivia. Edgeley Park has, for as long as anyone can remember, been the answer to the quiz question: “Which Football League ground is closest to the Mersey?” But when Everton kick off at Bramley-Moore dock next season they’ll basically be getting their feet wet in the river.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

A group of lawyers have claimed Fifa is breaching its own human rights rules over the 2034 World Cup in Saudi Arabia.

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Tottenham’s Son Heung-min has told South Korean police he is the victim of a blackmail attempt.

Manchester City and PSG will face no action from the European Commission after allegations they breached EU competition law.

Meanwhile, Erling Haaland has described City’s season – in which they have reached the FA Cup final, gone out of Bigger Cup to the holders and could still finish second in the Premier League – as “boring” and “horrific”.

Liverpool have got their itchy trigger fingers on Jeremie Frimpong’s €30m release clause at Bayer Leverkusen.

Jamie Vardy is set to make his Leicester farewell on home soil against Ipswich on Sunday and then sit out their final game of the season at Bournemouth.

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St Johnstone have been relegated from the Scottish Premiership for the first time since 2009 after Ross County’s 1-1 draw with Dundee.

The cava remains on ice in Barcelona after Jacobo Ramón’s late, late winner for Real Madrid against Mallorca delayed their title party.

And Reddit co-founder (and Mr Serena Williams) Alexis Ohanian has bought a £20m stake in Chelsea Women.

STILL WANT MORE?

Nick Ames went along to the Ukrainian Cup final to see flares, burning Russian flags and more.

Ismaïla Sarr is the bargain buy who has become Crystal Palace’s unsung hero, reckons Ed Aarons.

Roll up, roll up … it’s your big FA Cup final quiz!

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Bologna’s unlikely Coppa Italia triumph ended their long, long wait for silverware, writes Nicky Bandini.

And Sampdoria – Sampdoria – have been relegated to Serie C. How did it come to this? Michael Butler investigates.

MEMORY LANE

November 1997: a nice aerial shot of the Félix Bollaert Stadium in Lens, France. It’s a proper four-sided ground and was used at the 1998 World Cup. It’s since had a revamp and is now known as Stade Bollaert-Delelis.

‘NOSTALGIA EDITOR’?

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