Twins 10, Rays 4: Buxton leaves game but is probably OK

Byron Buxton had to leave the game in the seventh inning when he was hit by a pitch and suffered an right arm contusion. X-rays were negative, but obviously we’ll know more later tonight or over the weekend.

In the game itself, Bailey Ober didn’t take well to the cold, but the bullpen (!) held in there until the Twins were able to get past Rays flamethrower Joe Boyle. And a guy YOU DID NOT EXPECT provided the big hit for the home team.

Pregame: This is just absolutely perfect:

At about 2:00, Target Field lost power (as did much of downtown Minneapolis). Since that meant the wi-fi was down, the little hand-held ticket scanners that Target Field employees use to “ping” people into the ballpark weren’t working. So fans had to wait for a bit. Eventually the team just decided to let people in who showed a ticket, and not to worry about the scanners.

Since that will affect the reported attendance a bit (maybe)? and teams have to share a certain proportion of the gate with the visiting team (I think?), I expect the Pohlads cut the power off on purpose.

Either that or Hans Gruber is making off with millions of bearer bonds right now.

(Tom Pohlad on the radio, being asked about if he’s ready for a bunch of Pohlad jokes: “I’ve got a thick skin. Bring it on.” OK.)

1: Bailey Ober, inspired by the 20 walks Saints pitchers gave up on Tuesday, decides to walk leadoff Yandy Díaz and then changes his mind, instead grooving a nice high hittable one to Junior Caminero. Double. Ober hangs a one-out slider that Jake Fraley pops up, then returns to groovin’ against Nick Fortes. The Rays score two and that means this game is likely over unless the Twins put more than the expected amount of effort into it.

After a leadoff walk to our own Kody Kat Klemens, Byron Buxton decides to take Strike 3 right down the middle, so yep, the expected amount of effort. Nobody else cares, either, so Devil Rays 2-0

2: Well, Bailey can handle the bottom of the Rays’ lineup alright. Unfortunately so far Joe Boyle can handle the entirety of the Twins’. He is not related to Danny Boyle, the British film director who made 28 Days Later, but these Twins bats are definitely zombified right now.

3: Tristan Gray, from Missouri City, TX, gets a one-out walk. He’s playing short today because Brooks Lee is “under the weather.” Back in the day “under the weather” in the NBA meant “Jordan and Barkley were at the casino until 6 AM” but I doubt that’s the case for Lee. A wild pitch advances Gray to second. Kody Klobberin’ Klemens has a check-swing foul tip into the glove for strike three, which is about as disappointing a way to strike out as I can think of. Buxton pops one up and this team is NOT an offensive powerhouse, methinks.

4: Instead of leaving a slider up to Fraley this time, Ober politely puts it right in the middle and Fraley doubles to right. Ober gets the next two guys, since if the Rays score any more runs the Twins are doomed, but sure enough here comes a 89-MPH fastball right in the happy place and Ben Williamson cranks another Tampa double. Pitch #78 walks Chandler Simpson (Maggie’s firstborn). Ober Ks the next guy, but nobody’s real excited about watching five innings of the Twins’ bullpen in sub-40° weather, are they?

Luke Keaschall decides to swing out of his shoes at three straight inside pitches and, amazingly, this works; he gets the skinny part of the bat on a slider and pokes it through the infield at 70.5 MPH. That’s good enough to score on a 69.2 MPH double by ex-Pirate Josh Bell. Then Jeffers 70 MPH bloops one into short right. Talk about small ball! Bell advances to third on the Jeffers duck fart. Trevor Larnach walks. Bases loaded, one out.

Royce Lewis hits what SHOULD be a double play, but SS Carson Williams utterly boots it and nobody’s out (it’s the Rays’ MLB-leading 10th error of the year; Bell scores.

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Missouri City’s finest, Mr. Gray, sac flies Jeffers in. Wow, the Twins have made offense! Kooky Kody Klemens Ks to end the inning, but this baby has been securely tied 3-3

5: 28-year-old Eric Orze (pronounced “orr-zee”), who we got from the Rays for something called a Jacob Kisting, makes his home debut with a walk, followed by a flyout, popup, groundout. 25 pitches, though, so Shelton’ll have do dig deeper into his Magical Arm Barn, which does not inspire confidence.

Boyle gets the Twins easily. He’s not related to American actor Peter Boyle, but aside from all those 70-MPH bloopers last inning, he’s definitely kept the Twins from puttin’ on the hitz.

6: My bad! Orze is still in here. That reminds me of MLB’s stupidest new rule; how pitchers who start any inning have to pitch to at least three batters. The third one here gets on base, but Orze retires the fourth. It’s still a stupid rule.

Less stupid but still not one of my favorite rules; the ban of the shift. On a routine Jeffers groundout, the Twins say that Rays 2B Ben Williamson was too far to his right when the pitch was thrown. After like a hundred hours of looking at the video, the umps decide, yep, Williamson was in the wrong spot. So Jeffers is now ruled safe. Trevor Larnach then bounces one off the limstone in right (the Twins’ first well-hit ball of the day), and that puts guys at 2nd and 3rd with one out. In comes reliever Hunter Bigge. Royce Lewis walks.

And then, Tristan Gray and Kinky Kody Klemens both K, and that’s a little annoying. It’d be a lot annoying if I thought the Twins would win more than 75 games this year, but I don’t, so it’s only mini-annoying.

7: Justin “On” Topa in to pitch. Díaz gets another of those “little part of bat” hits with one out (it’s going around today). Topa gets the next guy, but on a Junior Caminero groundout, the umps rule that 1B Clemens took his foot off the bag and bobbled the ball. He did take his foot off; he didn’t bobble. Once again, MLB takes forever on a review play and STILL gets it fuggin’ wrong anyways; Caminero is ruled safe. Then Kody Funderburk comes in and gets the next guy anyways. I think the umps just want the fans to sit in the cold longer in revenge for all the critiquing of umps we’ve done over the years. Well, they’re big meanies and they deserve it.

CRAP.

Rays reliever Kevin Kelly hits Buxton on the right arm, it sounds bad, and Buxton leaves the game. It wasn’t at all intentional, the pitch just moved oddly.

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CRAP.

Sigh. James Outman takes the base for him and steals second. Keaschall reaches when Caminero boots a backhand (his sixth error and the Rays’ twelfth!). Matt Wallner strikes out (for the fourth time!), but Josh Bell has the Twins’ second decently-hit ball of the night and knocks Keaschall in.

Then Jeffers reaches on ANOTHER Caminero error (which I didn’t think was an error), and Kelly walks Larnach to send home Keaschall. And Kelly walks Royce Lewis!

So of course Tristan Gray, who struck out with two guys in scoring position and one out last inning, says “I’m so sorry TwinkieTown! Let me do better!” OK. Grand slam? We forgive you!

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Well, call me a genius for predicting all of this; the Twins would score a lot and their bullpen would be better than the other team’s. That’s why I’m known as Nostrajamus. Twins 10-3

8: Anthony “Panda” Banda, a former Ray, decides to come in, plunk Nick Fortes, WP Fortes to second, and give up the RBI to Cedric Mullins. Then WP Mullins to 2nd. Good grief man. He does manage to avoid anything worse, though. Cold state 10-4

9: ANOTHER Cody, Cody Lawyerson, nicely ends the game in the cold rain for us so that the nice people can go home, and even the mean ones too. TWIMS WIM! (Yes, around here we spell it wrong on purpose. No, I don’t know why.

Studs of the game: Bell & Larnach’s soild hits when nobody else was getting more than duck farts, Keaschall’s hustle… and DEFINITELY 30-year-old backup infielder Tristan Gray for going 1-for-5 with 5 RBI. Why not, man?

NO DUDS, TWINS WIN!

COTG goto norff for “the LOOGY lives on in spirit,” Kirilofffan19 for “I don’t think anyone here ever doubted the capabilities of Josh Bell or Trevor Larnach!” and TawnyFroggy for a g’day in Australia. We miss you Froggy, be well!

Tomorrow’s game is scheduled for 6:10 (weather permitting), and features the Twins’ Mick “Is He Very?” Abel against the Rays’ Steven Matz. Catch ya next time!

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