The latest Call of Duty collaboration includes in-game content, but what you get from it out of the game matters the most. I’m talking to directly to you, you stinky, sweaty gamer.
Dr. Squatch Soap Company has teamed up with CoD for a limited edition soap and deodorant styled after characters like Captain Price and John “Soap” MacTavish, because of course it is. I purchased a four-pack to try and get rid of my own stenches while playing CoD, and I’ve gotten my results.
Two soaps (Ghost Grit and Sarge Soap) and two deodorants (Ghost Sticc and Sarge Sticc) came within my order, emblazoned with some CoD logos and Dr. Squatch mascots that look like Price and Soap. And the soap boxes also come with a unique code inside for a Dr. Squatch-themed CoD player card, so that’s nice.
And it gets even better. The Ghost soap has a pretty cool black and white marbled coloring, while Sarge has a blue and yellow-ish marbling. But in the end, just like your gamer chair after a marathon session of Ranked Play, it’s all about the smell.
In my shower, I tried both soaps, lathering myself up quite easily with a silicone loofah. I washed and I bathed as Soap MacTavish might after a mission, or how Ghost might… actually, I don’t know, does Ghost bathe? Either way, the soap’s fragrances filled my bathroom. The soap bars’ ingredients include things like saponified oils, naturally derived Fragrance, shea butter, field balm extract, pumice, black iron oxide, spirulina powder, mica, kaolin clay, and sea salt. But whatever’s in it, it smells pretty nice. I think I like the Ghost Grit the most, but they both smell like victory.
But do they lead to in-game victory? Unfortunately, no. And that’s a trend for me and presumably a lot of others these past few years.
After showering and lathering myself up with both soaps, enjoying the scents and smooth skin on my body, I hopped online for some CoD. I dabbled in some Black Ops 6, some Warzone, and some BO6 Zombies—and continued to get stomped like I always do. That might be an age thing, but I was shocked by my own stink… at CoD.
Occasionall,y I’ll have a really nice game of 40-50 kills, some killstreaks, some fun, and then I immediately get matched up with the Olympic zoomer squad that are screaming in-game comms in Hardpoint as I lean back in my chair with my dad hat and Crocs on.
CoD is sweatier than ever with skill-based matchmaking, my advancing age, kids playing better than ever, advanced movement mechanics, and more. I wish the SBMM that CoD had was soap-based matchmaking, because I know for a fact I smell better than a lot of gamers.
Body odor after using this CoD Dr. Squatch? Non-existent. The soap works great. As does the deodorant. Sarge Sticc does not smell like “the regiment,” nor does Ghost Sticc smell like “destruction,” but after some intense gaming sessions and some workouts including full body aerobics and intense peddling on my desk bike while watching CoD streamers like TeePee greatly look forward to Verdansk’s return next week, I continued to smell incredible.
Is it worth $50 of your money? No, absolutely not. The player card is kinda weak, too, but if you’re looking to smell nice, you can find some good stuff out there that’s way cheaper than this that will get the job done.
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