All majors should ban cell phones like Augusta National

OAKMONT, Pa. — Given the opportunity, we humans will default to our lowest possible level. Oh sure, we talk a good game about wanting to live our lives with higher purpose, but with the slightest temptation, we slide into the pit, abandoning all pretense of discipline in favor of instant gratification.

I’m talking, of course, about using cell phones at golf tournaments. It’s a crime against sport and nature, and it’s my considered view that phones should be banned from all majors. No exceptions.

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As you surely know, Augusta National does not permit cell phones on its grounds during the Masters. Anyone caught with a phone will be escorted from the property and lose all privileges to ever attend the Masters again.

You may say that banning someone for life from one of the world’s elite tournaments for the crime of using a cell phone is the very definition of “punishment not fitting the crime.” And I would agree with you. I think offenders ought to lose a finger or two, as well. Plus, the prohibition ought to extend to golf’s other marquee events.

You heard me. U.S. Open, PGA Championship, Open Championship … all of y’all, get the cell phones outside the gates. Imagine a cell phone-free Pebble Beach, a silent St. Andrews. Imagine a second, third and fourth tournament each year without a thousand people all holding their phones high in the air on every tee box. It’s golf the way it used to be, and it’s the way golf ought to be again.

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If you question the purpose of a no-cell-phone policy, well, clearly, you have not been in a place that forbids cell phones. Hell, Augusta National might be the last holdout in our always-connected world, and it’s high time the other three majors followed the Masters’ example. If they’re not going to lower ticket or food prices, at least they can give us this.

The players are at least partially on board. Last year at Augusta, Jordan Spieth, in his typically Spiethian way, wandered over, under, around and through the topic of cell phones at the Masters. On one hand, he understood that cell phones — both the ability to remain connected and the ability to share moments from the golf course — help grow the game exponentially. But he landed on the side of “no phones,” at least for one week.

“What’s really cool about it is you just feel that everyone’s very, very present,” he said. “They’re not focused on if they got the right shot that they’re sending.”

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That’s exactly it. Everyone with a cell phone at a major spends a not-insignificant amount of time making sure that people know they’re at a major … either through direct contact or through the judicious application of Jealous…? photos and video on Instagram or TikTok. In their rush to remain connected with the outside world, they completely miss out on the transcendence of engaging with a golf tournament … which might just be the most spiritual of all sporting events. An afternoon walking a beautiful golf course will do wonders for your soul … and will strengthen the bond of whoever’s lucky enough to walk with you.

There’s another element of the gallery that the cell phones affect: applause. “The art of clapping is gone,” Tiger Woods said several years ago. “Everyone’s holding a cell phone,”

On Wednesday at Oakmont, Sam Burns and Scottie Scheffler walked up the 18th as a hundred phones tracked their every movement. Will any of those videos ever get watched again? Doubtful.

For the purposes of a control group, I sought out people in the Oakmont gallery wearing Masters gear. It didn’t take long; finding Masters gear at a golf tournament is about as tough as finding snow at a ski resort. I met a lovely couple from right here in Oakmont named Ben and Hannah Wolfe — Hannah was sporting a pink Masters cap — and they immediately agreed with my thesis.

“When we were up at the tee, we had to look through all these people’s cell phones to even see anything,” Ben said. “You don’t have to worry about that at the Masters.”

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“It’s like going back in time there,” Hannah added. “You can log back into the world.” She allowed that it was nice having a cell for photos and for keeping in touch with the babysitter, but aside from that, the disconnected environment is the preferable one.

Of course, some people miss the point entirely. Soon after chatting with Hannah and Ben, I ended up walking behind a guy who was FaceTiming and describing to the poor unfortunate soul on the other end of the call exactly how he was going to play the 18th hole, and what a magnificent score he would surely record on his card. If you are instinctively cringing and wanting to throw this cat’s phone onto the highway that runs through Oakmont, well, that is the proper reaction.

Make the right call, majors. Join your azalea-and-pimento-laden brethren. Get rid of cell phones and let people reconnect with the game, each other and themselves. It’s the right thing to do, and we’ll be sure to thank you … once we get back to our phones.