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It’s a big night when the reigning champs come to town. Anthony Banda got his championship ring, the Target Field concessions workers went on strike, and Zebby Matthews got to remind everyone that his real, government registered name is Zebulon. Unfortunately, it appears they forgot the bag labeled “runs” back in Phoenix as there was little offense to speak of for the hometown nine.

Things got off to an inauspicious start for Zebby Matthews in the Twins when Shohei “best player in history” Ohtani homered on the second pitch of the game. It was Ohtani’s 17th homer of the season and a terrible sign for a player as homer-prone as Zebby. Luckily, he really settled in from there with the only other run coming on a Freddie Freeman solo shot in the sixth.

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And while the Dodgers have Ohtani, Will Klein forgot that the Twins have new AL home run leader Byron Buxton. Buck immediately answered Ohtani’s bomb with one of his own in the bottom of the inning, evening the score at one apiece. Unfortunately for the Twins, Buxton’s homer was Minnesota’s only run on the night. The Twins did follow with a couple of two-out singles in the first, but that was also the only other time the Twins got a runner past first base.

Listen. It’s not that losing to the Dodgers is a problem. They’re the best team in baseball and the World Series favorites even with all their current injuries. The problem is that they couldn’t manage anything of note against Eric Lauer who has been very bad this season. He was bad enough that the Blue Jays DFA’d him earlier this month to make space on their roster for Simeon Woods Richardson. You know, the guy the Twins DFA’d even with their starting pitching injuries because he couldn’t stop throwing meatballs down the heart of the plate. Lauer also joined this illustrious list of players to throw 6+ hitless innings against the Twins.

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